It may have once seemed unfathomable--but we know that you really changed your whole life story around. You started thinking scrupulously about your own needs instead of always putting others first, which is of significant consequence. Although it may seem incongruous, the fact that meditation and sticking your nose in books has helped you so much in becoming better is pretty spectacular. Witnessing your transformation into someone who takes responsibility for their life and learns from their mistakes, instead of blaming things on self-sabotage, is honestly extremely inspiring. Thank you very much for being so open and real about your experiences. Continue on your path; the toughness you show is amazing to see.